Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
