my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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