the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
