Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
