I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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