Is it because I queefed?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
