I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If I die, sorry about rent.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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