Your dad touched me again.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
