Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
