I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
