Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
