Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
