Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
