Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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