Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
