too bad you live with your parents still
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
