Her vagina should come with caution tape.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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