Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
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He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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