i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
