Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
