she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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