Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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