nut hugger
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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