I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
