How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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