I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
