My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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