Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
