oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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