What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
