I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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