just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
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And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm having to shit out rocks
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