I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
