scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
