One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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