8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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