My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize