For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You were trust falling into bushes
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