Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize