i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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