we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
