I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Can I color on your dick again?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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