college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
