you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
