So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
