last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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