I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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