wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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