Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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