covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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