I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
