why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize