I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
