I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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