you turned your livingroom into a bong?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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