He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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