...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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