just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
