You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
