so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
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Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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