suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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