I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
